Finding My Own Place
by general yumi
Summary: Dean Winchester always does his best to keep his little family together. When he fails and his little family is separated he decides to leave to find his own place in the world. Set when Sam leaves for Stanford, Abusive John!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: I'm Alone**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.**

Dean's P.O.V

Sam Winchester.

My precious baby brother who, now that I think about it, is not such a baby anymore. After all he proved it by leaving Dad and I behind. Sadly this means I failed as the big brother. I laughed bitterly at my own thoughts. Even dad agrees with me. I thought back to the last thing he said before leaving.

"You worthless piece of shit, you failed at taking care of your brother and now he is gone because of you"

Now I lay beaten on the ground. I mentally sighed before I got up and went to the mirror in the bathroom in a motel we were currently living in to inspect the damage done by my father, John Winchester. Dad and Sammy have been butting heads since Sammy learned of the things that go bump in the night. I love my family but they always focus on their needs and desires. If I try to interfer in their arguments they push the blame on me. I just want to not hear them fighting every five minutes. I try so hard to keep my little broken family together but this time it wasn't enough. I stared at my bloody face in the mirror. When was it ever enough? I sacrificed everything for my family. Tears flooded my vision. I'm tired so very tired of everything. I stared at the mirror as someone else's tears ran down my dry cheeks. I sighed as I began to clear the blood and bandage the wounds while wiping the tears away. I wish I truly had no emotions it would make my life so much more easier. I exited the bathroom and fished out my mom's photo out of my duffle bag. I smiled sadly and remembered the very few memories that I had of her. I was suddenly over whelmed at the feeling of need for my mom to be here. I then noticed the angel statue behind her. Where was god when mom was dying? Where was god when dad was hitting me after a night of drinking? Where was god when my family was leaving me to bite the dust!? I tightened my grip on the photo. Both Sammy and Dad know what they are doing with their lives but I don't. I thought about this for a few minutes before I decided that I'm leaving. It's a perfect time. Dad's probaly out on a hunt ot trying to bring Sammy back and even then he has his eyes set on getting revenge. Sammy's too busy trying to live the apple pie life to even notice my adsence. I'm determined to find my own place in the world. I gathered my things, jumped in my baby, and went a few cities away from where we were staying. I made a stop and decided to call dad. I took a few deep breaths amd dialed his number and just like I thought it would it took me to his voicemail.

"Hey dad. I'm not sure if your going to get this but I decided to find my own place in the world. Don't try to find me. I'm getting rid of all the spare phones. I'm still going to go hunt just not with you here to help me. I'm sorry that you have to find out this way. See you later dad... and please be careful."

I winced at the raw emotion at the end and knew that dad was going to notice and call me a bigger disgrace because of it. I sighed as I continued on driving and for the first time in a while I prayed for my family and for myself to a god I don't believe in.

**Author's note:**

**Hey! Okay so this is the first fanfic I have ever written so please be nice. I hope you like it and review please! I would really appreciate it. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.

Dean's P.O.V  
It's been a few days since I left dad the voice mail. I have been driving around aimlessly and constantly wondering of I made the right choice. I even found myself driving back before I stopped myself. I sighed and decided to stop at a small town called Windom in Minnesota. As I entered Windom I noticed a small diner and I decided to stop to grab a bite to eat.  
I parked my baby and entered. Once inside I sat down and began looking at the menu when I heard someone talking to me. "Rough day?" I looked up to see a thirty-five year old waitress with dirty blond hair and brown eyes. "Rough day?" She repeated. I shrugged. "I guess you could say that." "Okay how about this? I'm about to go on my lunch break and I'll come back and we can talk all about your problem." I stared at her incredulously.  
Just as I was finishing my food the weird waitress sat in front of me. "So spill. Don't leave a woman waiting." I sighed irritable. "Look lady I like sharing time as much as the next guy but I don't even know your name so if you excuse me I have places to be and people to see." All she did was laugh. "Your not from around here are you? My name is Kate Milligan. What's yours?" At my silence she just laughed. "Cat got your tongue?" She was teasing me!? "No, I'm not from around here and the name is Dean Winchester." I saw no point in lying about my name. All she did was smile. "Well you got a place to sleep?" Just as I was about to respond a man around his forties in the seat behind me started talking. "Ain't no point in refusing her offer, boy. She'll just bug you until you agree." Huh? Agree to what? "Now you listen here Peter I was just about to ask when you go butting your head into other peoples business." "Now now Kate no need to get worked up." She just ignored and turned back to me. "Don't listen to him but if you got no place to sleep you can use the spare bedroom in my house." "As much as I appreciate the offer I'm going to decline. Besides you don't even know me. What if I'm an axe murderer?" She just laughed. "I am completely positive that you are not an axe murderer as you so call it. Just except the offer Dean." I sighed loudly which just made her smile widen. I turned to look at the guy behind. "Peter, right?" "Yup." "Can you tell me if Kate over there is an axe murderer?" He laughed whole heartedly while Kate began to complain about not being a murderer. A nearby waitress that looked to be over twenty-five started giggling then she made her way over. "Listen here boy I can assure you that Kate is not an axe murderer." I smirked. "Does that make her a regular murderer?" The waitress started laughing along with Kate and Peter. "Bo-" I cut her off there. "Dean, my name is Dean Winchester." She smirked. "Okay Dean, I can assure you that Kate in not an murderer of any kind." I turned to look at Kate. "So you coming with me?" I mock sighed in defeat. "I might as well go check it out." Kate just smiled before checking the time. "Oh shoot! I have to get back to work but if you come back here at 3:00 p.m I can show you my place. Until then you should go look around." I agreed then left.  
As I was driving around I started to think about the strange people I met. Then I started think about Sammy and Dad. I wonder if they are eating and resting well. Did Dad manage to get Sam back? If not then is Dad out hunting? Did Sam actually leave for good? I sighed out loud then I realized what the heck am I supposed to do for two hours!?

Author's Note:  
Hello readers! I honestly didn't know if I should have continued this story. I apologize if Kate is a little ooc. I just imagine her as a very happy person. I also apologize if this is going to fast. After all Kate just met Dean but I imagine she is just nice like that. Yes, Kate knows that Dean is the son of John Winchester. She will bring that up soon. If you don't know who Kate is she is the mother of Adam Milligan and the father of Adam is John Winchester. Until next time! Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.

Kate's P.O.V

I was standing outside of the dinner thinking about the young man from this morning, Dean. I am positive his father is John Winchester. I sighed loudly while closing my eyes. 'What should I do? Do I tell him immediately about Adam? No, I barely know Dean and he barely knows me.' A car honk brought me out of my thoughts. "Kate you coming?" I opened my eyes and noticed Dean with a beautiful black car. He noticed me staring and smirked. "Come on," he said. "I don't got all damn day." I laughed and got in. "Nice car," I said while smiling. His eyes seemed to light up and he immediately started talking about it.

Apparently the car is a she. I think he also said its a 1967 Chevrolet Impala. Dean seemed really happy talking about his uh "baby." I gave him directions and we finally made it to my house with Dean talking about his car the whole way. Before we exited the car I stopped him. "Dean before we go in I want to warn you that I have a son," I said seriously. He stared at me for a bit, "Name? Age?" I laughed a little. "Of course. How silly of me. His name is Adam. He is 15 and if you even so much as hurt a hair on his head I'll personally hunt you down and make you wish you never came to Windom." I said the last part darkly hoping to intimidate him, but if he is anything like his father I know that my little threat is nothing compared to the horrors he has witnessed.

He held his hands up in a gesture showing his surrender. "I won't harm the kid. No need to get scary. Sheesh." I laughed. "Just making sure," I said happily. He shrugged and smiled. "Whatever." I smiled brightly, "Come on let's go inside." We both got out and headed for the door.

Dean's P.O.V

When we entered the house it was like what I imagine a normal house would be like. When inside there was a living room to my right and a staircase in front of me with a hallway next to it. There was a closed door to my left. "Nice house," I said truthfully. She smiled, "Thank you I try. While I go check on Adam please wait in the living room." I nodded and went to sit down on the long couch in front of a T.V. I was suspicious of this strangely kind women but its not like I got anything else to do.

When Kate returned a boy was next to her. He looked to be 15 and had blue eyes with dirty blonde hair. He looked like he was bored and didn't want anything to do with me. I stood up and stood in front of the boy. I stuck my hand out. "Dean Winchester at your service." I waited for him to return my greeting. He shook my hand, "Adam Milligan. If you need anything don't ask me." I laughed. "Adam I want you to keep our guest company while I go make dinner," Kate said. "But mom." "No buts young man." Adam groaned, "Fine." "Now that's what I want to hear." Kate said then kissed the top of his head and left the room.

After she left an awkward silence spread throughout the room. I sat down and gestured for Adam to do the same when he didn't move. He sat down and we stared at each other. 'What the hell do I say to a 15 year old in the first place!?' "Your not the first person mom let stay here." Adam's quiet voice broke through the silence. "I kinda figured she was weird like that," I replied calmly even if I was mentally freaking out. "For an old guy your pretty weird," he responded just as calmly. "Seriously dude why would you come to this shitty town?" I could see his curiosity in his body language and his eyes. I laughed, "Well this shitty town, as you so wonderfully describe it, happened to be here when I decided to take a break from driving."

This seemed to have caught his interest as he sat straighter. "You own your own car?" I could see the excitement in his eyes. "Yup! She's a real beauty. You wanna see her?" I respond happily. "Yes!" I could see Adam's eyes light up and he ran to the kitchen. After a few minutes he came running back in. "My mom said I could go check out your car." Adam said excitedly. I chuckled and motioned for him to follow me.

Once we were outside I gestured to my baby. "There she is. A real beauty if you ask me." I turned to look at the kid and noticed his wide eyes staring at my baby. "Whoa," he said surprised. "That's a freaking awesome car." I laughed and guided him to my baby and he instantly began to run his hands over the shiny black hood. "This is awesome." Adam whispered barely loud enough for me to hear. As the kid was inspecting and admiring my baby. I decided to offer the kid a ride. "You know since I'm new here and I don't know anything about Windom you want to show me around? We could do it while I drive us around." His eyes light up with excitement. "Would you?" I laughed at his joy, "Sure kid. Just go ask your mom first." He nodded excitedly then ran in his home calling for his mom. I smiled widely. "I guess this won't be so bad," I said out loud.

Author's Note:

Hello my lovely readers! First of all I'm so sorry for not updating sooner but I truly was at a loss on how to write Adam's character. Second if anyone still has interest in this story how do you think I wrote Adam? I really did try my best. Hopefully the next chapter will be out soon. Please comment, like, and whatever else you do! Until next time Luckies! *waves fiercely*


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.

Day Dean left to find his own place.

Sam's P.O.V

I was on a bus headed to California and the only thought running through my head was I made it. Neither dad or Dean would understand what I was going through. While I felt slightly guilty for leaving Dean I know he will be fine. After all my brother's a fighter. I got rid of all the phones except one. I couldn't bring myself to give up the last piece of the life. I made sure to throw away anything other than the phone that could give away my location to my family. Still I couldn't help but feel as if something big was happening, something that would affect her. I sighed not like I could do anything. Even as I tried to convince myself that everything was going to be okay the feeling refused to disappear. Whatever I should try to get some rest.

I woke up to the bus driver informing the riders of the upcoming stop, a cheap but semi-nice hotel. I was wide awake and alert from the years I spent as a hunter. I gathered my stuff and shoved it in my duffle bag, which was the only thing I brought with me. I got off the bus and began to head to the gas station that was on the corner of the street. I got some snacks and a few drinks and shoved them in my bag. Just as I was walking past a alleyway I heard someone say my name. I turned my head to look and I see my dad leaning against the wall of some house. "Sam," John repeats seriously. "Dad," I say just as seriously as him even if I actually wanted to freak out. I sighed before entering the alley and we both walked to the middle of the alley. "Dad what are you doing here?" I asked tentatively. He glared, "what are you doing here, son?" I fought back a flinch. I straightened my posture before answering, "I'm going to California to study at Stanford." His glare intensified so I countered it with my own glare. "You think you can just walk out of the family business and pretend those years didn't exist." Dad said through clenched teeth as his hands formed into fists. "Yea that was the plan. So just go back and give your orders out to your toy soldier." I said angrily. John gave out a sinister laugh, "You mean that disappointment." "That's your son! How could you call him that!?" I exclaimed angrily. "He's your brother and yet how could you leave him?" At that I couldn't help but flinch. "You left him too," I retorted. "Its normal for me but what about the brother he raised and fought day in and day out for? You left and didn't look back. How do you think that makes him feel?" I ignored that comment, "Dean's a fighter. He'll be fine." "Will he really be fine? He's not invincible. He can die too and he'll be especially weak alone." I glared at him feeling my hate towards him rise. "It almost sounds like you care," I sneered. John let out a short laugh, "Why would I care? I don't care about you ungrateful brats. Especially since both of you seem determined to leave."

I stared and stared and stared hoping he would continue talking. When he didn't continue I decided to ask, "What do you mean we both are determined to leave?" John smiled, "Awe son, this is the type of information you would know if you stayed. But you didn't, so why should I tell you?" I gritted my teeth before returning his smile, "Because I'm your son and Dean's brother. I have a right to know." John glared, "Then what kind of son leaves home? What kind of brother abandons his older brother? What kind of son just up and decides to leave the family to go to some stupid college?" At those words I couldn't contain my flinch before I responded with my own questions. "What kind of dad leaves a four year old to raise a baby? What kind of dad tells his kid that the monsters he fears are real? What kind of dad just rips away the childhood of his two sons?" We stand there glaring at each other each of us daring the other to make the next move. After a few moments of silence John begins to speak, "Come with me. Back to the family business. Back to Dean." "I can't and I won't. I decided to quit the hunter life and I'm not going back." We stand there staring at each other both with a poker face before I turn and begin the walk out of the alley.

As I'm walking I hear dad call my name. "Sam! Come back here this instant! I'm not done talking to you!" I sigh before responding, "well I'm done talking to you!" "Fine I guess you don't want to know what happened with Dean!" That stops me in my tracks and I turn around slowly. "What are you talking about!?" John smiled, "Didn't you know poor Dean was sick of how he didn't have a place in this world." I felt my whole body freeze at those words, "w-what do you mean?" John opened his mouth to respond but stopped and smirked. "If you want to know more Sam you have to come with me." I glared at him before taking a deep breath. "Fine I-I'll go with you." He smiled at me, "Atta boy. You made the right choice." He then turned and began to walk out of the alley. I took one more glance at the direction of the bus before I walked after him.

Author's Note:

Hello my lovely readers! I'm so sorry for not updating this sooner but I seriously thought no one was actually reading this. Thats why I didn't even bother writing the next chapter. In all honesty I'm not very fond of this chapter. I hope you guys enjoy. Please like, comment, and whatever else you do! Until next time Luckies! *waves fiercely*


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